How You fall
by Lukkas
Summary: Dougie lives with his mother in a house full of critters, likes music and staring at the sky. He goes to Ginsberg High. Tom shares his parents with 3 older brothers, is a tennis star, sails through life with eyes closed and attends Whitman High. When the 2 schools get united, senior year doesn't seem so predictable anymore. Especially for Dougie and Tom. Especially when you fall.
1. Waiting

if you like the plot, let me know, I'll publish. Thanks :)


	2. Who They Are

**Who they are**

**Tom**

I jumped high and swung my tennis racket above my head. Not too high, not too strongly. Just the right amount of speed and force to make the ball reach the corner of the court. Ball in. I smiled slightly and slid my hand in my right pocket to take hold of another ball. Swung. Ball in. Next ball. In again.

The light around the tennis courts lit up. It was getting late, I should go home. I stretched my shoulders and wrists as I headed to the locker rooms and showers near the gymnasium. Behind, there was the country club, with his restaurant and posh car exhibitions, aka the parking lot. And the golf court, of course.

I took a quick shower and got home walking, my hair dripping droplets in my neck, under my tank top. It was still hot under the setting sun and when I arrived home, my hair were almost dry. I knew they would be a bit curly tomorrow morning and it was fine by me; chicks liked it. So did I.

-Tommy? called my mom from the kitchen.

As a response, I dropped my bag near the entrance and nodded to Colin, one of my brothers. He was sat next to Adam, his mirror, in front of the TV. They were 19 and I had just turned 17 at the beginning of summer. My oldest brother, Troye, was 21. He wanted to be a doctor so he was always up in his room, studying.

-How is the service? asked my dad, coming up from the basement.

-Not bad, I winked.

He knew my service was the best asset I had.

-You hungry, little champion? demanded my mom, from the kitchen again.

From the corner of my eyes, I saw Adam mouthing ''little champion?'' and Colin made a childish gesture, like if he was an old lady wanting to pinch my cheeks. I couldn't help but chuckle and reached my mom, my dad behind me. I grabbed a banana in between the apples in the basket. She was already spreading peanut butter on a grilled piece of bread. She then took the banana from my hand with a smile.

-Ready for school tomorrow? wanted to know my dad.

I shrugged. It was the start of the year, sure, but there was nothing to loose sleep over. I was more excited for the interschool tennis season to start.

-I wonder where they are going to put all those kids, said my mother.

-They built a new wing to Withman, didn't they? argued my dad. Or I should say Ginsberg-Withman now.

-Still… Three hundred kids more in the corridors…

-It's going to be fine, I shrugged again, grabbing the plate my mom was handling me. Thanks.

-You always say that, she smiled softly.

-And it's always fine, I winked.

As I left the kitchen, I heard a kissing noise and my dad laughed. I avoided my bothers' extended arms by raising my plate above my head and sliding my body against the wall. Those were mine!

I climbed the stairs two by two and knocked on the wall leading to my bedroom. Just to tell my other brother I was home. He always worried about me for some reason.

-Come in, called out Troye.

As predicted, he was seated at his desk, laptop open, a book on his lap and another one next to his keyboard.

-Ouh, peanut-butter and bananas, he said, getting up. Can I have a bite?

He didn't wait for a reply and took what he wanted. It was ok. Almost. Troye was a bit like me. Lay back and he didn't give me a hard time because I was the youngest like Colin and Adam did sometimes. Being two helped. Who needed a partner in crime when you had a chromosomal copy next to you at all time? That's what Troye used to say.

He got back to his desk and ruffled through his books. I saw the picture of a heart.

-Can you give me a ride to school tomorrow? I asked.

-Only if you give me another bite.

I rolled my eyes and walked in with my plate. He munched on my food.

-We could drive by Ginsberg High and take a look at the ashes.

-It's not a freak show, I mumbled to myself, before retreating to my bedroom.

**Dougie**

I hated that I had to walk pass my school to get to the bus stop. My old school, I beg you pardon. I hadn't realized I would need to see the black mess it had become everyday. I hoped they would clear this out really soon, staring at it each day of the week was bound to depress me.

I waited on the corner, still lurking the other side of the street. You could still see the side wall of the gymnasium. A basket was held there, alone. No one would shoot a hoop into that one again, I was pretty sure of that. He would have to get through the bricks and burned wood and mud. And the fence the town had put up to discourage people to go in the remains of Ginsberg.

''I will miss that place'', I thought as the city bus pulled close. At least, I would still have my best friend with me at the new school. I was about to lose myself in music for a few miles before Maxine, said best friend, joined me on the bus, when my cellphone buzzed in my right pocket. I wiggled it out my skinny jeans and answered.

-Could you pick Sir Dex up at the vet after school? asked my mom, with her rapid and always busy tone. I have to get to Paula's and help with the baby birds.

Paula: my mom's friend. They were running a ''save me, I'm a pet in distress'' thing together.

The baby birds: probably some macaw or some other parrots. Paula was breeding them. I think.

Sir Dex: my little baby… What? Shut up. It was a Devon Rex cat, the type with really really short hair and with the body of Sphinx, that kind without hair.

-I don't have a leach, I replied.

-As if he would ever let you put that shit on him, chuckled my mom.

I smiled, looking through the window. True. Sir Dex wasn't called Sir for nothing. He was so clever and sneaky. I told my mom I would pick him up and hung up.

-Hey, Loser, said a voice close to me.

Maxine dropped her tiny frame next to me like if she weighed a ton. When she kissed my check – her worst habit if you ask me – her hair tickled my skin. Today, they were jet back with purple highlights. She had jacked them up her head and they matched her clothes: short black skirt with black boot and purple laces.

-Classy, I said.

-N'est-ce pas?

I rolled my eyes. All summer, she took French classes and now she kept talking to me with that fucked up accent and those weird words. Who gets to school in the summer? I mean, seriously. She said it was because the teacher was to die for. I didn't see anything there when I looked at him.

The bus slowly filled in with kids from our old school. They needed to work out a school bus system, and fast. Because there was too many of us and it was already crowded. I wrinkled my nose, looking outside again. I wanted my old school back…

I didn't like change, I was reluctant to change. Which is weird seeing how many animals came and went through my house. It wasn't the same. I had a bond with that school. I mean, I knew it and felt confident walking through it, no matter how many times I would get laughed at because I had zoned out again. Life was mostly good there. I was ready for senior year and then college and then freedom and now… With that fire, I had lost… I don't know… my feet weren't as steady as before I guess. And I hated that.

Silence overcame the bus when we approached Withman. Gingsberg-Withman, whatever. Our North Caroline town was big enough, I didn't have to get to that part that much. I therefore hadn't seen this school a lot before it got shown in the news lately (as a result of ours burning down at the end of the school year…) It was big. Like… really. The lawn in front of it was a bright green color and banners were floating in the air. The letters announcing the new name of the school were shining under the morning sun, in the middle of buildings that I was sure to get lost in. People were slowly walking in, chilling or talking near the two big doors.

-Looks nice, said Maxine, pressing her side onto me to get a better look through the window.

-Looks weird. Even the grass is too green.

-It's going to be fine, she smiled, taking my hand. Open your mind to possibilities.

She knew me too well.

-Thank you, Miyagi.

I got up, freed my hand and pushed her in the bus alley; it was almost empty and the people riding the bus to go to work were getting impatient.

Maxine had her backpack and another bag including all her girly stuff: make up for her eyes and probably nail polish or some other stuff. I took the bag from her hands and she slid her arm under mine. No, we weren't a couple. She was just Maxine and I was just Dougie. Best friend and best friend. I guess we could go out, she was really pretty and I liked her but… nah. I was content with my ''best friend'' status.

-This school seems… I started before hesitating, looking for the right word. Uptight? More posh?

-Well, we are in the rich part of the town, she shrugged, dragging me forward, to the entrance.

-I wonder what they will say to your scene look, I winked at her.

-I don't care.

She never cared. She was herself and that was it. I wondered, as I held the door for us both, what it was like to know who you were – really know who you were. I had no clue.

-They are probably going to think I'm strange. Or fashionable as hell. Just like you, with your messy hair and your jeans and your boots and those chains in your neck.

-Well, you gave those to me, I like them.

-We are fabulous, remember that, smiled Maxine, kissing my cheek again. We are great. I'm not scared of anything.

I embraced the inside of the school rapidly with my eyes. The shining floor, the rows of lockers, people… Everywhere. What a change from our small school. I was scared.


	3. How They Met

**When They Met**

** Tom**

I thanked Troye as I exited the car, started walking on the grass near the school.

-Your bag, bonehead! he called after me.

Right. Ok, maybe I was a bit anxious. Everyone in Withman knew me and I liked that. Great, now, I sounded like a jerk. I just meant that I didn't want any trouble. Not that Ginsberg High was like a ghetto or anything. It was just small and a bit different. Arty. Here, sport mattered a lot. Hence the ''everyone knows Tom Fletcher''. I guess it helped that I was favorite to win the state tennis championship this year.

I pushed the wooden door. Yeah, it was crowded. You could already tell who was new or not: the people looking lost were obviously in the first category. I hurried through the crowd and reached locker 309. Zade, my (I guess) best friend, was already there, putting his stuff in the tiny space we shared.

-Hey, he said. I was about to issue a search warrant for you. Haven't heard from you since my party, two weeks ago.

-I thought you were still in an ethylic coma, I sighted. Last time I saw you, you puked on me.

-You put me to bed? It was you? asked Zade, surprised. I thought it was one of the girls.

I shrugged. I'd known Zade for all of our school years but, since last spring, I felt like we were drifting apart. I wanted to focus on school and tennis and he wanted to party. I mean, who didn't like girls and good music? I did too but you have to get some kind of balance and he was far from reaching that. Two weeks ago, he was so drunk I considered brining him to the emergency room… It was too much for me and, as much as I liked Zade when he wasn't trying to be a douchebag, I felt like moving away a little was a good thing.

-Have you seen all those new chicks? demanded my friend. So many ladies to try out…

-Try out? I scoffed, swinging my now nearly empty school bag over my shoulder and putting my tennis stuff away. As if you went out with all the Withman's girls before.

-All the good ones. Well, the good ones you didn't date. I'm not a recycling bin.

I laughed, closing our locker door. See what I mean? He was an OK guy after all. And mind you, I didn't date that many girls. Just the one that made me feel something. Feeling something was the key. And ''something'' wasn't just a sexual feeling. I needed to feel a connection of some sort. If you don't feel it, what's the point of moving on past friendship? Apparently, I was the only one of my friends thinking like that.

-Come on, called out Kade. We need to rejoin the others.

I nodded and followed him out of the locker row. We met our little pack near the indoor fountain, in the middle of the common place. Ceiling was high, all in glass and, through it, I could see the clouds drift by. I liked that. We sat tight, watching people walk around us, clutching their schedules. I bet our school might have seemed strange to them. From what I remember, Ginsberg was a really old school, with not too many windows…

When the bell rang, I got into math class. Precalculus, yeah. No. ''Here we go for another year'', I thought. Not that this thought was depressing but it wasn't really trilling either. I wanted to get to college so I worked hard. I was practically assured of a scholarship from a few colleges. But I wanted to get into the Ivy League really bad. And for that, you needed good grades.

The day passed by slowly but it was OK. Classes weren't as full as my mother feared. I think they hired a few more teachers to help. I didn't have a class in the new wing until the next day: latin. Now, I was heading to English Lit. I took it as an elective; I wasn't too good with books and all that… I knew how to read, thank you, but I felt like I should understand it more than I did…

-Dougie Poynter, called out the teacher, Miss Black.

Silence. I smiled a little. Whoever he was, ditching the first class wasn't really clever. I had had Miss Black before… She was kind of nasty when you acted like a smartass and really were just an ass in the end.

We were only ten minutes into the lesson when my bladder decided to let me know it existed. I should have gone before class but China Williams caught me and we were chatting. China Williams, come on! She so hot, no one could be mad that I forgot to wee when she was close!

I raised my hand and got granted the exercise of my basic needs. The thing with this school was that the bathrooms were all in one place, mostly far from everything else. It always gave you a big break when you went to pee. As I got close to the three stairs leading up to the ''release temples'', I noticed a shape near the top and, as I got closer, I made eye contact with a blonde guy sitting there. What the hell was he doing?

I bypassed him and went to pee. When I got out, whipping my hands on my back pockets, he was still there. His position was the one of someone defeated. His arms were wrapped around his knees, his bag at the bottom of the stairs and his head was bent in between. I saw him sigh deeply. Yeah, it was the kind of position of someone who needed his back stroked or something.

I approached tentatively. Not that I knew everyone in this school but I was pretty sure the guy was from Ginsberg. He looked… I don't know. He looked… Bohemian might be a good word. His hair were all over the place, he had stuff I couldn't see around his neck, skinny jeans not many people here were wearing and boots, which even less people here were sporting. I sat next to him and he lifted his face. Surprised blue eyes met mine.

-What? he frowned.

-What yourself, I send, trying a smile. What are you doing in the stairs? Aren't you supposed to be in class?

The guy lifted an eyebrow. OK, I know, I sounded like my mother or someone old like that. I tried another tactic.

-You from Ginsberg, right?

Then, his face darkened. I just noticed some kind of playfulness in his eyes when I saw it go away.

-So? he replied, defensively.

-So nothing, just making small talk.

-Well, aren't you supposed to be in class?

I chuckled and he seemed to relax a bit. He straightened up and let his long legs reach the bottom of the stairs, like mine. He rubbed his palms over his jeans. I said:

-Love your style.

He looked at me, obviously surprised again. Not as surprised as me for saying that; I had no idea it was coming. He detailed my black pants and converse. It wasn't so different, was it?

-I'll get going, I said, suddenly uncomfortable.

He obviously wanted to be left alone. I got up, made a few steps before he called me.

-Wait!

He had gotten up and, his bag in his hand, he was shifting from one feet to the other. He was nervous. Because of what, I had no clue.

-I'm sorry, he said. I'm not… I'm not very great with people. Fucking awful would say Maxine but she is… Let's not talk about that. I mean… I babbling, am I?

-Yes, I laughed, coming a bit closer. But it's better than a sarcastic look.

-I'm sorry, he mumbled again. I'm just lost in this bloody school!

Now, I was really laughing, couldn't help it. He just went to cocky as hell to helpless in a matter of sentences. I liked that better. I had enough of cocky people around, thinking they were better than most because they either had money or looks. When they had both, watch out, it was bad.

-Where are you supposed to go? I asked.

He reluctantly handled me his scheduled. I chortled when I saw the name at the top. Dougie Poynter.

-We are in English Lit together, I stated.

-And here I thought this was a corridor…

I folded the piece of paper and gave it back with a smile. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad to have all those Ginsberg students around finally. This one was nice.

-Follow me, I'll show you.

He obeyed and stayed silent until we reached a corridor on the left. He came to a stop.

-But it says room 109 to 119. And the class is…

He took the paper out again.

-124.

-It's at the end of it, there is a little corridor.

-How was I supposed to know? he grunted. I've been turning around for ages.

-Poor baby…

-Shut up.

I chuckled again and, when I looked over, a smile was floating on his lips. Yeah, he was really an OK bloke. I felt the need to say:

-Don't worry, you'll get it pretty soon. That school is cool.

-Not sure I agree so far.

-It's the truth, I continued. It gets simple once you get the maze.

I was about to open the classroom door when I hear the guy murmur:

-I don't think there is any truth. Just points of view.

Then, he opened the door and walked inside. Who the hell is that guy?


	4. How they met (part 2)

When They Met (part 2)

Dougie

''I just don't get why we had to have lunch far away from school'' said Maxine once more as we were finally sat in the bus, going back home after the first day.

''Can you just drop it, jeez… You've been complaining about it since…''

She cut me off. ''Since you requested we parted from the others to eat.''

''And since when my presence isn't enough to you?'' I asked, annoyed. ''We used to eat alone together before, what's different now?''

''I don't know'' she shrugged. ''Maybe I wanted to see how people were in this school''.

''Well, they called you a weirdo, that's not very nice'' I pointed out with a smile.

''But that's true'' she laughed. ''Come on, Doug, can we eat in the cafeteria tomorrow? You know how I like to observe people…''

I didn't reply, watching the boulevard stretch before us. In twenty minutes, I would be home; after today, I needed peace and quiet. I didn't know what it was with that school… I just felt trapped. After just one day. That ought to be an amazing year, right?

Before Maxine got out, she kissed my cheek. As usual. I blushed ten shades of red, as usual. Coz some old lady was looking. Almost as usual. I swear, old ladies have a way of noticing everything that isn't pure and chaste.

I got off the bus two steps after the school and crossed to street to reach the vet. Sir Dex was seated on the counter when I opened the door. Count on him to win people over and let him run free in the clinic. He lifted his chin and I nodded at him without a word. He laid down the counter.

''Looks like he just bow'' chuckled the lady near the cash.

I smirked, knowing better. Sir Dex wouldn't bow for anyone, he was such a jerk. Gosh, I loved that cat!

''He did well, as I told your mother.'' said the lady agan. ''He's all set until next January. If you want him shaved or anything, just give us a call.'' At the word ''shave'', Dex got down and ran under a chair in the empty waiting room.

I took the papers she was handling me and slid them in my school bag. My mom paid by phone apparently, which meant she probably wouldn't be home before the store closed, at nine tonight. I didn't mind. Not that she was never there or anything, she was a good mother. A great one when she gave me some cash so I could invite Maxine to the movies. Not, she wasn't my girlfriend. Why? Because. Just because. So yeah, back to my mom… She was always busy but we ate together at least four times a week, which was more than the ''absent parent'' was supposed to, right? I mean… she was kind, she was funny and all, we just didn't talk much, I guess. Which I also didn't mind. I'd never been a good talked, no surprise here.

''C'mon, Dex, hop on'' I called, adjusting my backpack over my shoulders. He slid in between my legs and extended his own to jump on my shoulders. Yes, I was going to walk home with him like that. Unless he wanted to follow on the ground but I doubted it.

Once at home, I called for my mom but she obviously wasn't there. Dex jumped off and stretched leisurely before walking to the living room. Our house was old and small, with original frames and floors that creaked louder than the thunder when you needed them to shut up. Kitchen was like a narrow corridor and, pursued by two other cats we were talking care off, I nearly tripped trying to reach the bag of food. The new kitten was pushed aside roughly by Billy, our house cat when she intended to get a bite. I took her in my arms and grabbed a little bowl, filling it with food. Resting her on the kitchen table along with the bowl, I took off my school bag. Math homework on the first day, what a great way to earn love from students…

Stocking the new kitty's fur (I needed to find her a name…) I reflected back on this first day. School was too big, people were too… many. I missed the small and confined atmosphere of my old school. It was now too big for anyone to mess with me though, so it was a good thing. Not that I was bullied, not really. Let's just say that the fact I was friend with the weirdest person in school and didn't want to conform to the ''let's be a strong man and be a hypocrite pretending everything is perfect'' idea people seemed to hold onto to fit in made me kind of an outcast. I just wasn't cool enough to be a part of the hit crowd but not dull enough to be pushed around too much.

I sighed, trying to concentrate on equations and algorithms. At least, I had been late to only two classes out of six today, that wasn't so bad. I almost didn't attend one altogether though but thanks to… well, I didn't even know his name but it didn't matter. He was nice enough not to take a piss at me after I made it perfectly clear that I was the kind of person who couldn't make friends with anyone. It was still a miracle that Maxine befriended me back in middle school… At least, the guy was sympathetic and he smiled a lot for some reason. He was home in that school, whilst I wasn't.

When New Kitten was done eating, I left her on the floor and, tired of pushing away LinLin's face with my feet, I got up. Arthur, our other dog, took this as a hint and came rushing down the stairs. I grabbed the leaches from the hooks near the entrance door and went out.

When I got back in, I embraced the kitchen table with my almost finished homework on it. I gave some food to the parrots in the basement and cooked some pasta for myself. Afterwards, I let Darko out of his aquarium a little. I let him crawl on my bedroom floor. I laid on my bed, a foot in the floor, the book I had started just yesterday in hands. I smiled each time Darko would go near my foot and rub his uneven skin on mine. After a while, afraid he was going to poop on the floor, I took my lizard up and rested him in his big glass home.

Then I went to take a shower. And then went to bed. I was such a cool guy, wasn't I?

The next day, I pondered what to wear for a moment before thinking that, if I couldn't keep my mouth in check and stop being so awkward, it wouldn't matter if I looked OK. I decided for some skinny, as usual with my boots, as usual. I grabbed a blue tank top and a grey vest. That would do.

''Cafeteria at noon, right?'' asked Maxine, as we got off the bus the next morning.

''I guess'' I mumbled, looking around the entrance for an unknown something. People were chatting, having fun together before classes started. I needed to get going if I wanted to have the chance to get lost and find my class before the bell rang.

''Come on, if the same people as yesterday are in my math class, we might be able to make friends and not eat alone''.

''I don't need friends'' I shrugged. ''I think you're good enough'' I added with a scowl.

''You know what I mean, don't get mad.''

I sighed. ''I'm not, I can't get mad, remember?'' I tried to get a smile from her and it worked. I think she remembered that time where, when we were starting to be friends, she wanted to tell me how to piss people off my back and I couldn't even look scary or mad. ''See you later, Max.''

I got to my locker and hurried toward my Latin class. Why did I choose that again? Oh yeah, because it was either that or mechanics and I feel like my dreamer self would be safer with Latin than with tools. And I was clumsy as fuck.

I looked at the room number on my schedule after turning around for ages. Everybody was almost in their classes. E450. There were a sign towards wings A-B-C and D. Great. Another loophole.

''Give me that, new guy'' called a voice from behind me. I turned around and here he was again. The guy from yesterday. ''You're lost again, right?'' he asked with a smirk.

''Maybe'' He tried to take my schedule but I held it tighter. ''Maybe not''.

His face broke into a huge smile. ''Then see you around, Dougie.''

He remembered my name? And I didn't even know his! I looked around hastily. I needed a bit of guidance. Arghh.

''Wait…'' I called out before trailing off. He stopped walking and waited for me to catch up with him. ''Sorry again.'' In silence, he held out a hand and I gave him my schedule. ''I don't know your name…'' I mumbled, unable not to.

''Tom'' he smiled warmly, offering me a hand to shake. His grip was firm, I even saw the muscles of his shoulders move under his shirt. I should really start working out more. ''Good news or bad news?'' he asked.

''Unh?'' He repeated his question and I shrugged. He was a bit too… not weird (I was, he wasn't…). He was just too… friendly.

''Good news is that we are in the same Latin class. Bad news is that I don't know exactly where it is so we'll have to look for it together.'' I remained silent as he gave me my paper back. He added: ''if that's OK with you.''

''I… Well… Sure, sure.''

''Great. Are you always so nervous?'' he asked, walking up to the B corridor.

I shrugged again. If he was going to do small talk, I needed to up off my game because I wasn't one for small talk. Or talks altogether. He turned left at the end of the corridor. I saw the E sign.

''For someone who didn't know where he was going, you sure found it easily'' I said finally.

''I have been in Withman for a long time'' he stated. ''You'll get the hang of it.'' He started to read the room numbers out loud.

''I miss my old school…'' I whispered.

He stopped walking and looked at me. Without a smile this time. I probably looked like a whinny little kid now. Great. When will I be normal?

''I'm sorry about what happened to Ginsberg High. It looked like a great school…''

I didn't need compassion. Not from a guy that seemed to smile all the time. When you smiled that much, it's that you didn't have anything to complain about, it was all perfect. And I hated people with perfect lives.

''How would you know?'' I grumbled, noticing, right behind Tom, the door number we were looking for.

''Where the fuck were you?''

I cringed at Maxine's tone. She had the right to be mad but I didn't want her to lecture me in front of the whole school, thank you very much. Everyone was eager to get home after the second day of school and were pouring out the front doors, where she had caught me.

Oh and she was pissed because I went MIA at lunchtime.

''I think you had all you needed'' I pointed out.

''You mad I made friends? I wanted to introduce you! Where were you?''

''Can you stop screaming at me, please?''

''I'm not screaming'' she replied, her eyes narrowing, as if the thick eyeliner was too heavy for them. True, she wasn't screaming. I started to walk towards the bus stop but she grabbed my arm. ''So…? I'm not moving until you tell me where you were.''

''Have fun not moving, then.'' I did a few more steps before she whispered « Dougie » with her soft tone and made me stop in my tracks. She always won with that, she knew it. ''I saw you with this guy and then a few people showed up and… '' I shrugged. ''I didn't want to eat in the cafeteria anyway.'' I made a pause and looked up. She had that sad face I hate: the one she pulls when I've disappointed her because I'm such a dork. ''I went behind the school. There are a few fields. I was perfect.''

''You jealous because I met people already?''

I shook my head no. And it was true. I was jealous she could talk to people whilst I couldn't. ''Were they nice to you?'' I asked at last.

She opened her mouth to say something and was cut off by someone calling my name from close by. From the corner of my eyes, I saw Tom approaching. He was surrounded by two others guys. They looked like the perfect golden boys trio, it instantly made me feel like crap.

''Wait here'' said Tom to the other two and, as if on cue, they both stopped walking. He came closer and, of course, smiled. But it was short lived, like if he remembered something not so great. ''Listen'' he started. ''I just wanted to say I'm sorry for this morning. I don't know what I said wrong but I didn't mean to make you mad.''

There was a silence. I could feel Maxine's eyes on me, questioning. And the two guys look, questioning. And Tom's eyes, questioning. ''OK?'' he said again.

I mumbled. ''I'm not mad, I can't get mad.''


	5. how they met (part 3)

When they met (3)

**Tom**

I had trouble concentrating that night during training. It might or might not have had something to do with a lot of homework pilling on my desk already. Or it might or might not have had something to do with this new kid in school. New kid? I scoffed, alone in the shower. There was a lot of new kids! He wasn't unique or special or anything else… ''Well, a little, I guess'', I thought, turning the faucets off. Even amongst the Withman high's students, he clashed with his boots and hair all over the place. And what about his girlfriend! The one with that ever so short tutu and make up and rainbow hair? She was really… uhm… I thought for a second before giving up, exiting the bathroom. She was really strange. She looked nice but… those two were a strange couple, that's all I could say.

''How was training?'' asked my dad when I got home that night. They were all seated at the dinner table, and had started eating. He noticed my grim face. ''What's wrong?''

''I dunno'' I shrugged. ''I was just out of it, I guess.''

''You guess?'' laughed Colin. Adam laughed, for a reason I couldn't grasp. I was a bit moody.

''I'll train during lunchtime tomorrow'' I said, sitting down.

''Don't exhaust yourself'' said my mom. I nodded. She probably knew I wouldn't listen anyway. First interscholar match was in two weeks, I couldn't afford to slack off. Especially when my service was so… uggghhh.

Later that night, I was about to close my books for the night when Troye walked pass my room. He made a few steps back and leaned on the frame. ''You OK, baby boy?'' he asked.

I wrinkled my nose. I hated when he called me that. I was seventeen for fuck's sake! Yeah, I was still moody. ''I'm just fine'' I mumbled, shoving my pen in the pot near my laptop.

''One bad day of training doesn't make a season'' he remembered me.

''You sound like my coach. Before he started screaming at me.''

Troye chuckled and was obviously about to say something else when his cellphone rang. He only looked at his pocket, without answering. ''I need to get going. A lady friend, like mom would call her… She is waiting, if you know what I mean…''

He started wiggling his hips back and forth. This time, he got a smile from me. Troye was a good brother.

Once in bed, I lay there, looking at the ceiling. I needed to not take everything so seriously. Chill out a bit. So then my training would get back on track. I'd had bad days before. But I already knew why: lack of sleep, wrong food, too much partys… Now, I had no clue, that's probably what was bothering me. I usually knew stuff.

''Hey sexy…'' called a seductive voice from behind me the next morning, as soon as I opened my locker, Kade next to me. I knew who it was. China Williams. I hoped she didn't call me sexy, it wasn't… sexy.

I turned around, a smile on my face: ''Hi you'' She kissed my left cheek. ''Want me to accompany you to your class?'' I asked.

She nodded enthusiastically and, retrieving my books from the locker shelf, I heard Kade mumble ''lucky bastard'' under his breath. I patted him on the back before walking away. I considered taking China's hand for a moment but… I should ask her on a date first, right?

As we were walking towards the common star, as we call it, where the corridor and D start, I surprised myself looking around. Maybe the new guy, Dougie, would be lost again? But he was nowhere to be seen. Good for him, then.

''What are you smiling for?'' wanted to know China.

''Nothing.'' I didn't even know I was smiling. I was just thinking about this guy and his girlfriend. What an odd pair. She was… uhm… special. And he was…

''You frowning now'' noted China. I tried to laugh and had to repress a sigh of relief when I noticed we were in front of her French class. She kissed my cheek again. Yeah, she wanted me… I should totally ask her out.

I walked rapidly to my Geography class and then almost dozed off in History of the World. I was ever so glad when the bell rang. It was a beautiful day, I needed to move and wake myself up a bit. And train.

I stopped by the gymnasium to get changed and headed towards the courts, my racket in hand and a few balls into my pockets (no pun intended). But, when I got there, I noticed someone sitting under the crying willow not so far off from the court I liked to use the most. A smile crept on my lips as I approached: Dougie Poynter. I couldn't help but watch him from the distance. He was reading a book, earplugs in his ears. A small book… not a school book, obviously. That was a first. In my circle, you read because you were forced to. Not him, apparently. He seemed to be happy to read whatever he was reading. He paused, closed his eyes and rested his head against the trunk, as if thinking of the words, and then he resumed his lecture again. I don't know how long I stayed there but, when he did the same thing again, he noticed me and jumped a little, startled. I wasn't close, nor really far.

And my cheeks grew red in the second, I could feel them burn. God, how embarrassing! Now, he was going to think I was a stalker. Or a lurker. Or a… whatever other bad things he could think of.

Like an idiot, I waved. Slowly, as if he was scared (he always looks frightened now that I think of it), he took his earplugs off and it seemed to me like it was a cue: I could go talk to him.

''What are you doing here?'' I asked. He made a gesture, as if to show me his book, but seemed to change his mind and he hid it in his bag rapidly.

''I should ask you the same thing'' he replied. I moved my racket in the air, fumbling with a tennis ball in my right pocket. ''You play during lunchtime?'' he frowned.

''I am state champion, I need to practice.''

''Oh.'' His reply (or non reply…) left me unease and a bit shameful. I didn't want to come off as arrogant and pretentious. I slowly sat on the grass in front of him. He looked even more surprised then. ''Listen'' he started ''if you are about to talk sport with me, don't bother, I know nothing about anything.''

''I bet you know a lot about everything else, then.'' My sentence got out without me thinking. What a dork I was… But then, I noticed a small smile across Dougie's lips. Was I making progress here? What? Progress towards what? I felt myself blush ten shades of red. ''My dad always says that'' I explained.

''My dad left us'' blurred out Dougie. And then he looked panicky and glanced around like a mad man, obviously trying to find something to make the words he'd just say go away.

''I'm sad to hear that'' I said softly. It didn't seem to help one bit.

''I'm sorry I said that'' he replicated at once. ''Forget about it.''

''It's OK if…''

''Please?'' he pleaded. No, not OK. But I let it go. I barely knew the guy, it wasn't a time (or a place) for a heart to heart or whatever.

''Where is your girlfriend?'' I asked.

''My what?'' he repeated.

''Girlfriend.'' I smiled. He looked embarrassed for a moment and I thought it would be better if, once again, I changed the topic. Maybe the two had a fight and it wasn't a place to go. I hesitated.

''You play tennis, then…'' he said shyly.

''Yeah…''

''State champion…''

''I'm not international yet, it's no big deal, you know…''

Conversation dried out. I saw him fidgeting with his fingers. Why was he always so dorky and nervous? And where the hell was the girl? He had seemed kind of relax when I'd seen them yesterday. She calmed him down apparently.

''I'll let you train'' suddenly said Dougie. He hastily got up, his earplugs dangling in front of him. He picked up his bag but caught it on the side and juggled with it for a second before he was able to put it on his shoulder. And he just walked away.

And I felt sad. I felt… I don't know exactly what it was but I just wanted to sit there forever. At some point, I just got up and went to the other side of the court. I wanted to do some foot work but ended up servicing again and again, not hitting my spot but the tree when Dougie and I were sat under moments before. When I got there to retrieve my balls, I noticed a small rectangular shape almost behind the trunk. I picked it up, it was a book. I remembered the black and green image on it, the book must have fallen from Dougie's bag or something.

I leafed through it. It was poetry. I couldn't help the smile that climbed on my features. Yeah, poetry… it fitted him so well…

I pocketed my ball and headed back to the gymnasium with the book. I noticed the lockers were almost all filled. Damn! The bell had rang and I hadn't hear it! I changed and raced through the corridors to reach my English Lit class. I opened the door, panting. The teacher turned to me, obviously annoyed by something (and it wasn't my late arrival, I was pretty sure of it).

''Thank you for doing us the honor of your presence, mister Fletcher'' she sighed. ''Go sit down… and please don't moan about the assignment like the rest of your already tired classmates after two days of school…''

Better not mess with her, I got it. I took place behind the class. Up in front was Dougie, looking through the window. ''So… you'll be paired up, as I said, and no, you can't work alone'' continued Mrs Black. ''And, tricky thing is…I'll pick up a name and you tell me who you want to be paired with. No changing afterwards.'' I looked towards Dougie again. He was lurking around, obviously unsure about what would happen next. I had the feeling he didn't like people that much. I wondered who would choose him? I knew a lot of people would pick me but… him?

''Tom Fletcher?'' I looked up to Mrs Black. She waited and then waved, exasperated. ''A name, please…'' Oh, right. ''Dougie?'' I said, questioning. He didn't move or turned to me. The teacher wrote something on her pad and then named someone else. That's it? She wasn't waiting for him to say ''yes'' or anything? Was it OK for him to work with me on a project I had no idea about?

As soon as the bell rang, he went out the class in no time. I had to catch up to him in the corridor. ''You alright?'' I wanted to know.

''I'm fine'' he said, brushing his hair from his face. They looked very soft… ''Thanks for choosing me.''

''Well…'' I needed to find a good reason for picking him over people I've known a lot longer but couldn't think of anything else than: I wanted to. ''Working with girls is always so complicated and you're always so serious…''

''Sorry…''

''I didn't mean it badly! I'm… I'm glad to work with you.'' I tried a smile and, after a few seconds, he smiled back. Kind of. ''I'll get going. You're girlfriend is arriving, look.'' He turned around and the flamboyant girl waved at him, her nails bright pink today. ''See ya, Dougie.''

**Dougie**

''You ditched again at lunchtime'' pointed out Maxine.

''Well, you know where to find me if you want quiet. If not, good for you'' I said with a smirk.

''Was it Tom Fletcher again?'' she asked, pointing towards the now empty corridor. ''He's like… a big shot in here'' she added after a moment. I shrugged. I didn't want to think about it. Popular people weren't exactly friend material to me. ''He's hot…'' sighed Maxine.

I didn't reply. He _was _hot. No, he wasn't! I hadn't notice.

I hadn't notice. I hadn't notice. I hadn't notice. I hadn't notice. I hadn't notice. I hadn't notice. I hadn't notice. I hadn't notice. I hadn't notice. I hadn't notice. I hadn't notice.


	6. How you get close

How you get close

** Dougie**

''You are doing a project with Tom Fletcher?'' said Tara, a girl Maxine had been hanging with for a week now.

I shrugged. How I wanted to be outside now! Alone! Near the courts and read, tranquil. Not to be in the cafeteria, surrounded by so many people I didn't know. Who were they? Who was I really? In the middle of all this, I had no clue.

''I can't believe it'' sighed Tara again.

''You should start to, it's like the tenth time you repeat it…'' I mumbled.

''Dougie…'' grumbled Maxine as a warning. I rolled my eyes. ''It's kind of cool that you work with him'' she continued. ''He's known by everyone here!''

''True'' agreed Xin, a guy seated with us, and Trevor, another dude, nodded too. The two other girls – I forgot their names – were whispering stuff and I thought I'd heard ''Tom is perfect, OMG ljkhkghglhkghkl…'' Something like that.

''You should be glad he thought you were worthy…'' said Tara. I sent her an evil glare. ''What?'' she asked.

''Dougie is worthy of anyone'' replied Maxine. But I was already up. ''Dougie! Don't leave!''

''See you later'' I said. For the first time ever, I kissed her cheek, like she always did with mine. When I straightened, I saw him. Him. The golden boy, the one everyone liked. He was looking my way and he smiled. Then, he looked down at Maxine and frowned. I hated him for that. She had the right to dress as she pleased, to be what she wanted. No stupid jock would make her feel bad about it, no way!

I got out the cafeteria and walked to the school doors. I pushed one and karma struck: the bell rang. Not alone time for me then. I really wanted to get some before tonight. Tom was coming to my house tonight. I told him no, I promise! He just asked why and I could respond. So he smiled and I said OK. Although I didn't want to. Well… that wasn't important now, wasn't it?

When school was over, I rushed to the bus, not waiting for Maxine. I sent her a text and caught the bus just as it was about to leave. I didn't want to be with her right now. She would know something was up. Not like something was up.

''Oh, hey'', said my mom when I passed the door. ''You're early.'' I shrugged, scooping up Sir Dex from the floor. ''That's good, I'm in a rush.''

''Aren't you always'' I smiled. She smirked.

''I have something for you… This little lady needs to be fed every two hours, I thought I would have to do it in five minutes but it's your job now, sarcastic son of mine.''

I walked to her, curious. I backed off at once and Dex escaped. She laughed, mumbling ''knew it''. I hesitated, holding out a hand. She placed the skunk in my hand. Yeah, a skunk. It was so small! I stroked it's fur with my index and middle finger.

''I put the bottles in the fridge, OK?''

''Are we keeping her?'' I asked.

''You wished!'' she scoffed. Hell, yeah! I wanted a skunk as a pet! But I got it by the tone she used that we were just rescuing her, and that she would go back in the wild as soon as she was strong enough. It was a bit saddening. You couldn't even count on pets to stay, everyone was always leaving…

''Leave her in the bathroom with the door closed, OK? I don't want the dogs to be all over her.''

I nodded and watched her leave. Then I realized I would be alone with Tom when he came around in an hour. My heart rate speed up and I looked at the skunk in my hand. Who has skunk in their house! He is going to think I'm a bloody moron. As if it wasn't clear enough already… As if to agree with me, Vixen, the parrot we adopted a few years back, started to laugh out of nowhere. Nuthouse… The alarm on the stove made me jump. My mom was clever: now, I wouldn't forget.

I got busy feeding everyone and barely had time to look at myself in the mirror before _he _arrived. Not like it was important. Then why my heart was rumbling, tumbling in my chest? I hated it. I didn't want any of this.

I tore my eyes off my own reflection when the bell rang. With good behavior, no one barked, or quacked or _miaou-ed_. I was about to let him in _here? _And then he would go around telling he had made a mistake asking to work with me! And people would think I was even less worthy of… The bell rang again and I ran down the stairs.

I opened the door and was met by his smile. I hastily sled outside, closing behind me. Now, he looked confused. ''We could work here?'' I offered, showing him the porch.

''I would love to but…'' He looked around. ''It's all wet…''

I blushed. He was right, it had rained almost all afternoon! I knew that. Fail.

''You OK?'' he asked, touching my shoulder. I backed off and nodded. Damn heart rate.

I led him in and he put his bag down, untying his converse. He hadn't seen the critters just yet. Billy ran by, from the kitchen to the living room, which was divided by a flight of stairs right in front of the entrance door. In the back was the stairs to the basement and the bathroom. Upstairs, the bedrooms. It was a small house.

''Welcome home!'' called Vixen from his cage near the couch. I closed my eyes. He always did that.

''What was that?'' asked Tom, confused. A parrot doesn't sound exactly like an human…

''Vix…'' I said apologetically.

''Who?'' I pointed to the living room and Tom made a few steps inside. A ''woh!'' escaped his mouth when he saw the deep blue bird. I followed him. ''Hey, big guy'' he said softly, extending a hand.

''Don't!'' I had whispered my warning, touching his wrist to put it down. Tom looked at me for a moment, not taking his hand out of under mine. He had really deep brown eyes and my heart started to act like an idiot again. I slid my hands in my short's pockets. ''He bites a lot'' I explained, feeling guilty for some reason.

''Oh. Well… I need my fingers.'' He smiled at me again. Yeah, he needs his fingers. To be a star athlete. Don't forget that Doug, even if your body seems to.

''Who is this guy?'' asked Tom. I turned around and, on the back of the couch was Sir Dex. ''You have strange pets…'' said Tom again. The cat, as if he had heard him, squinted his eyes.

''Don't you have a brushing to do?'' I asked to the cat, still lurking Tom. ''Or a royal assembly to attend?'' Dex got up and turned on himself, sitting right back, his bottom to us.

Tom started to laugh. ''It's like he gave you the finger or something.''

''It's his way of telling me to go fuck myself…''Tom laughed some more. I was relieved. I might get over this work session after all… Talking about work… ''We should start?'' I proposed. I turned to Tom, who seemed to wake up. He had been lurking me. Did he though I dressed weird? I bet he did. He always looked so… classy.

''I have something for you!'' he said suddenly. He got his bag and handled me a book. My book! I thought I'd lost it in school, how did he… ''Near the courts'' he explained. ''You look like a poet'' he said again. What was that supposed to mean? I didn't want to know so I said nothing but: ''thanks''.

In silence, we got to the table. No chance of us going in my bedroom! I had a lizard in there after all. We reread the instructions. He proposed that we did a study on Withman's work and Ginsberg's work. I thought it was a great idea. I hadn't picked him for the type of guy that would go for a challenge. With school, I mean. It was a big work with a lot of steps: essay, presentation, booklet, images… We had months… At that thought, I blushed, unable not to. Fucking sensitivity, I hated it so much… I closed my eyes and sighed.

''You alright?'' I left my head to meet Tom's eyes. Was I alright? Suddenly, I wanted to cry. I wasn't a kid, for god's sake, and I didn't cry much either so why the hell… As a response, I just shrugged. ''What's up?'' wanted to know Tom.

I didn't have time to reply, my cellphone rang. I picked up at once, avoiding his look of concern. It was Maxine. ''Why did you leave me behind?''

''I had to be home early.''

''You should have warned me at lunch!''

''Why are you calling me just now?''

There was a silence and I could almost see her smile. Her tone was half guilty, half excited when she said: ''This guy gave me a ride and… we talked and all…''

''That's great. Can I call you back?'' I didn't wait for a reply. I felt even worse now. ''Maxine'' I said to Tom. ''Sorry about that…''

''Your girlfriend seems nice'' he offered. I was about to say something but the buzzer rang, making us both jump. I think we had been staring or something. ''What is that?''

I got up and grabbed a little bottle with a nipple. ''You have a sibling somewhere?'' asked Tom.

''Stay here'' I said. I got to the bathroom. The baby skunk was there, sniffing around the peach carpet. I took her and she instantly started to bite my finger. That made me chuckle. She was adorable.

When I got back to the kitchen, Tom was stroking the dog and the little kitten, that I had nicely named No-Name was playing with his feet. ''How many animals do you have in here?'' he wanted to know.

''I lot'' I mumbled, embarrassed. I picked the bottle up and fed it to the skunk.

''Is that…'' started Tom. ''Oh my God…'' He got closer, so close I could have smelled his neck by just laying a bit forward. Not that I wanted to. The skunk was feeding greedily and Tom was in awe. All I could think about was his hand over my shoulder.

''You want to feed her?'' I asked. His eyes lit up. With a smile, I put the little thing in his hand, gave him the bib. He got to the table, sat down. He looked like a dad feeding a tiny, tiny baby. Suddenly, I had this vision of him in five or ten years. With a wife and kids. What about me? Would I have kids? I sighed, leaning on the counter. I needed to accept that I would probably not. What I was feeling was ruling this out of my lifeline…

''What's it's name?'' Tom's voice made me snap out of my gaze.

''I dunno, we won't keep her so…'' He looked sorry for me for a moment. I walked to the kitchen table, No-Name scratching my ankle as I sat. I grabbed him, stroked him. I didn't know what to say! Fortunately, the baby was done and she got Tom's attention. He let her walk on the table. No-Name and her studied each other. He was smiling like crazy. He was beautiful.

As so as that thought crossed my mind, I got up to rinse the bibs. Set the alarm again in two hours. I went to put the animal back in the bathroom. Dex walked pass me, howled and jumped on my shoulders. Tom came closer to stroke him when I appeared. Too close.

''I need to get going'' he said (sadly?) ''I have training at six tomorrow…''

''Sorry we didn't work a lot'' I apologized. Sir Dex jumped off my back.

''It's fine. We found a subject and books, that's a start, right?'' I nodded quietly, following him to the door. He put his Converse on. ''It was strange…'' he started.

''I'm so sorry… Next time, we could go someplace else…''

''Why?''

''Some place that isn't… strange.''

''I mean why are you sorry?'' he repeated. I was blushing, I knew it. I shrugged, once more. ''I was about to say it was strange… and amazing. Thank you.''

Since I didn't know what more to say, he smiled at me for one last time and got out. And I stayed there, my knees like jelly. Fuck.

**Tom**

I walked slowly to the bus station, looking back numerous times. I wanted to get back there. Now. I passed the burned school. Looked back once more. In my head, I had a picture of Dougie, walking through the corridors, with his boots and skinny jeans, bangs in his face… He was happy there, I guess. Right? Was he smiling more back then? With more friends? Not so shy? I hoped so… I wondered when he forgot he was awesome…


	7. How you get close (part 2)

How you get close (part 2)

**Tom**

I lay on the court on this Saturday afternoon, letting the sun slide on my skin. I was exhausted. Three hours of training under the heat was enough. I couldn't be more ready for the match tomorrow.

''Get up'' ordered my coach. ''We're done for the day. You did good, son.''

He was always calling me son. It was nice. ''I think I'll stay here a bit longer'' I said.

''As you pleased...''

I heard him walk away, the bag of tennis balls sliding away on the ground. I couldn't stay for long, I had to see Dougie. I smiled, closing my eyes because of the sun. It was our second working session and I couldn't wait. I had his face in my mind, the way he was smiling, unsure if he should, the way he looked at me in between his eyelashes sometimes... Well, it wasn't why I wanted to go back to his place. Not really. I dunno. Did it matter? Probably not.

I sat up, feeling my shirt unglue itself from my back. I was soaked! I needed to take a lonnnnng shower, I didn't want Dougie to know I'd been dripping sweat like a pig. I wondered if he still had that tiny skunk with him. When he handled her to me, he was so... delicate... like if it was a precious gift. I felt like a monster for a second, no knowing what to do not to brake that gift.

I walked to the showers and rested under the warm water for a long time. My muscles were sore and my elbow was scalped because I had tripped over my own feet the day before. Don't laugh.

I slowly got back home. My parents weren't there but my twin brothers were, sitting on the couch.

''You wanna watch a movie with us and the girls tonight? We are going to order some pizza'' asked Adam. The girls were their girlfriends. That made me wonder where Troye was. Probably with _his_ girlfriend. What was missing here? Yeah, I didn't have a girlfriend.

''I can't'' I said. ''I have to go to...'' I felt myself become fidgety. They were sure to ask questions... ''I have a teamwork session to attend'' I simply finished.

''On a Friday?'' I knew it. ''That's why you aren't getting laid tonight'' chuckled my brother. ''Or any other night of the week, am I right?''

I rolled my eyes. Although I knew I shouldn't put much thought into it, I got to my room and, whilst I pondered what to wear for tonight (not like it mattered what I wear... well, maybe a little, Dougie had style!), I took out my cellphone and found China's number.

''You want to do something with me tomorrow?'' I asked.

''Sure!'' She sounded happy, that made me a little less nervous. I talked to her about my match in the afternoon and proposed a movie afterwards. ''No worries'' she agreed. ''Unless you are free tonight?''

''Oh, I can't. I'm seeing this guy tonight...'' Wait. That sounded weird. ''I have a meeting with Dougie Poynter, for our English class project. ''

''I think I know who he is'' she declared and I stopped my movement, a leg in my pants. How did she know him? ''He's the cute guy with the strange girl, right? Well, he's weird as well, I guess, with that look. And he doesn't talk to anyone.''

''He's not... weird. Maybe a little, I don't know...'' I felt unease talking about Dougie to my next day date. About Dougie and his girlfriend. I found a way to finish the call subtly and got dressed. I lurked myself in the mirror. Was it good or not? White shorts with a grey tank top? Where was my red beanie?

I looked at my cellphone and realized the bus was in two minutes. I ran downstairs, passed my brothers, grabbed my bag and I caught the bus. A few seconds more and I would have been late. I didn't have his number; he would have been waiting for me.

I got out before the school and walked rapidly to his house. I wondered if he would talk a bit more today. All week, he had been silent, polite but ever so shy with me. Kade, my once best friend, had ask why I was even talking to him outside our work sessions. Why not? Dougie seemed... special.

I was so lost in my thoughts that, when I woman opened the door after I knocked, I thought I was at the wrong house. She smiled at me and screamed: ''Dougie! Your partner is here!''

From the living room, Vex repeated, that made me laugh. ''Come in'' said the woman. ''Nice to meet you. I told him that school wouldn't be too bad! He said he made tons of friends, that's so great.''

I didn't know what to say. Apparently, I just caught a lie. She offered me something to drink but I refuse politely. No-name arrived to bite my foot instantly and Billy pushed him away to purr against my legs. They reminded me of my brothers...

''You have a way with animals'' told me Dougie's mother. ''Just like Doug. He is always so quiet, I thought he was too much of an outcast. Nice to know he is becoming popular. Not that it's _that _important, but you know what I mean, right?''

I nodded. If Dougie didn't talk much, she surely did. And the more she talked, the more I learned stuff. Stuff didn't know what to do about honestly.

''Ah, the shower is off'' told me the woman. ''He might have not heard me!'' She went to the stairs and yelled his name again. Added: ''Your friend is here! I approve! And I'm leaving now! Don't forget the birds!''

A panicked ''what?'' came from over us and the woman smiled at me. She had the same smile as Dougie. If he ever stop being scared and smiled fully one day. I heard some ruffle upstairs as she left and, walking to the stairs. I suddenly wondered how it looked up there, that house was so cosy and calm. How was Dougie's room?

Talking of… him. He was battling with a white tee shirt, getting down the stairs. Unable to see anything, he tripped, almost at the bottom of the stairs. I caught him, rested my hands on his naked waist to steady him. His head emerged from the tee-shirt, he looked utterly lost.

''Hi'' I smirked. ''What a way to greet me.''

Instantly, his ears turned bright red. He backed off, almost tripping back on the first step. I watched him struggling to put his shirt on. He had pale skin with a few beauty spots near his stomach, few stomach hair. I could see his hip bones… He had a great shape.

I lifted my eyes when I felt his on me and I chuckled. His hair were all over the place. I hold out a hand but you would have believed I was in front of the parrot again because I ducked away and combed his hair with his fingers by himself. I felt bad. I mean, fine, he could do that alone, whatever.

''You want to see the baby skunk?'' he asked.

''Sure.'' I agreed. He led me to the bathroom, opened the door. He took the strange cat in his arms before he could get in and I bent over to take the baby. It was still as adorable. I hadn't told anyone I had held a skunk. I mean, it was freaking cool! But I felt like people would find this childish so…

''Bring her to work with us if you want to'' suggested Dougie.

And here we were… Two hours passed and we managed to find good angles for every aspect of the work. It was easy to work with him, unlike anyone else I had ever been paired with. He was so… I didn't even know. I was just tempted to say yes to everything he said. It might be because he talked and I liked it.

At some point, chipping noises started to be heard and they became more and more insistent.

''Sorry'' whispered Dougie. ''I need to do something…''

I was just finishing with the skunk's bottle so I watched him walk to the back of the house. I went to put the baby in the bathroom and peaked in the open door leading to the basement. I started to get down the stairs. I think Dougie heard me because he said: ''Please don't come down…''

I obeyed. I just had time to see cages and colorful birds there, at least four of them. I waited on top of the stairs and he got back a few minutes later, whipping his hands on his pants. He had sports pants on, they hung low on his hips. I remembered the black waistband of his boxers from earlier.

''I'm sorry'' he apologized. ''I didn't want them to start socializing with you…'' I think I raised an eyebrow because he went: ''Gosh, I'm sorry! Not that you're not great! I mean, sorry, it's… they just talk and never shut up. Just like me now. Sorry.''

I couldn't help but chuckle. I stopped instantly when I noticed his blurry eyes. Hey, why… He cleared his throat and walked pass me. I followed.

''You sure say that a lot'' I finally sighed.

''Say what?''

''Sorry. You always say sorry…''

Dougie turned around to look at me, narrowing his eyes. He finally shrugged. ''So… We worked for two hours… You wanna go? I bet you have more interesting things to do on a Friday night.''

I got the message. I had said something wrong and he was building a wall. Quickly. I don't know how I knew but I knew. And it fucking hurt.

''I'm in no hurry'' I said carefully. ''You're interesting.''

He scoffed. ''The freak is interesting. With his dozen of pets and his sorry, sorry…''

''That's not what I meant. Dougie, come on…'' He lowered his eyes to the floor. ''Why did you tell your mom you had a lot of friends in Ginsberg? Every time I see you, you're alone or with your girlfriend. And barely.''

''What did you want me to say?'' offered the other, passing a hand through his now dry hair. ''Mom, you worry so much… I hate this place and I miss the past so much, when it was simple. Even Maxine is… Doesn't matter. And you know what, mom? I'm so far down whatever hole I dug around myself that I can't even talk to people so I just shut down and no one talks to me. '' Dougie exhaled slowly. ''That's better, maybe?'' he mumbled, turning his back on me.

I walked up to him and put a hand on his shoulder. He stiffened but I didn't take it back. I couldn't, it was glued to him. I felt him breath in deeply when I press his muscle.

He moved away. We locked eyes for a moment. Could I tell him his grey eyes were mesmerizing? Wait, what? I shook my head.

''Can I stay a bit?'' I finally demanded. ''Just to hang out. And not because I feel like I have to'' I added before he could object. ''I just think you're nice and shouldn't apologize all the time because you never did anything wrong, that's all.''

As if to agree, the weird cat with big ears and curly fur jumped on the counter. Dougie eyed me. He sighed: ''You hungry? Because I am…''

''You need help?''

''Stop being so nice, OK?'' he said. ''It would help if I didn't feel like you were perfect.''

I was about to say something but his face discouraged me. He was obviously half serious, half joking, he had a semi-smile floating on the corners of his lips but his eyes were telling me the demand was honest.

Dougie served us a salad of pastas. It was delicious, I had been starving apparently. Dougie had a tendency to make me forget stuff as basic as that… Like to breath normally.

''It's good, really good'' I said. ''Your mom is a great cook.''

''My mom is a shitty cook'' he laughed. ''I did this. And most of the stuff we eat. If I relayed on her, I would eat toasts all day, every day.''

The work had been put aside since the feeding of the birds and we just talked. A lot. About non compromising stuff like classes and sports. He didn't know much about it but he knew stuff about about cars, which I didn't. It was… I don't have a word for it.

''You shouldn't be resting or something?'' asked Dougie at some point, looking at the clock. ''Before a big game, you know?''

''It's a match'' I corrected with a smile. ''I should but it's nice to…'' I didn't finish, I felt foolish. I really needed to get going…

**Dougie**

I watched Tom go by the living room window. I watched him until he turned the corner and then I slowly slid to the floor. I had to admit it, once and for all. I am gay.


End file.
